Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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