Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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