She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
