Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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