i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize