Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He better not be in your backpack
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
