I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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