i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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