Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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