you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He has the fingertips of a God
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize