Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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