You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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