so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize