are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize