Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
