I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize