I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
