So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??