Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.

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  (757): I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it. http://tfl.nu/1fpc
  Replies (23) Good night (3595) Bad night (949)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.

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  (785): Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here. http://tfl.nu/9zh4
  Replies (26) Good night (3762) Bad night (834)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.

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  (206): Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story. http://tfl.nu/dytn
  Replies (25) Good night (1093) Bad night (3682)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented

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  (618): bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented http://tfl.nu/qz6v
  Replies (35) Good night (7403) Bad night (1485)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup

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  (773): legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup http://tfl.nu/hm49
  Replies (15) Good night (776) Bad night (6954)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny

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  (614): her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny http://tfl.nu/5yjp
  Replies (38) Good night (1034) Bad night (4949)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.

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  (902): I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor. http://tfl.nu/v10d
  Replies (9) Good night (3743) Bad night (1585)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

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  (817): just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child http://tfl.nu/48ux
  Replies (31) Good night (8177) Bad night (1633)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen

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  (443): you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/4avg
  Replies (9) Good night (2233) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..

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  (603): Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please.. http://tfl.nu/45sb
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (1103)
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  (562): View more from California

  You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.

  (310): View more from California

  Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?

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  (562): You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed. (310): Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon? http://tfl.nu/cki1
  Replies (2) Good night (1036) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  She looks like a beluga.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"

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  (941): She looks like a beluga. (954): I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched" http://tfl.nu/1qo8
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.

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  (402): REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES. http://tfl.nu/6ntk
  Replies (3) Good night (1200) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.

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  (256): It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration. http://tfl.nu/toyt
  Replies (0) Good night (952) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.

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  (617): Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear. http://tfl.nu/f6ht
  Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (641)

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