Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..