Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We got so high we made milksteak
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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