im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
