i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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