No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
