thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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