ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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