please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
