Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
