Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
