Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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