i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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