I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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