it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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