And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
