3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize