I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
