Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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