i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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