Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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