i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
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The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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