She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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