I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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