do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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