i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
