i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
