does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
