google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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