I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I CAN MOONWALK!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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