he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
