So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
