if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
