I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
