Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
