And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
