Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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