3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment