the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm like, not good at living.