my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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