I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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