that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So vagazzling was a success
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
