the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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