Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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