somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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