did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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