and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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