This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
