My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
